Intrepid

Intrepid {adj}: unafraid, bold, courageous, resolute


Mini-OCS On March 21, myself and a few dozen other Candidates set off for Parris Island.  The purpose of this weekend was to get candidates oriented to what OCS is like. I was excited to see a glimpse of my summer and spend time under the leadership of real Marines. At the same time, I was also nervous as hell–“What if I can’t do it? I’m not physically fit enough! I don’t know enough about the Marines! What if I make a fool of myself?” In the end, I survived and learned many important lessons. There are about 10,000 things I could say about this experience, but here are the top 5 things I learned:

  1. Don’t be the person that makes everything more difficult for the whole platoon.
  2. Learn things the first time you’re taught. And learn it it correctly. When told to do something, do it immediately and do it right. Example: always always always SOUND OFF.
  3. Drill Sergeants are supposed to make your miserable. It’s their job–nothing personal (unless you act like a bitch and make it personal)Also, when they’re screaming at you, don’t cry-it’s embarrassing for everyone around you (seriously, this happened!).
  4. Pain is temporary. If you can’t handle a couple of minutes (or hours) of pain, the Marines ain’t for you.
  5. Never walk between a DS and their platoon. I innocently made this mistake once and paid for it with a dozen laps around that platoon.

On Being Anxious

If I’m being completely honest, I am definitely starting to freak out. Mini-OCS was a huge wake up call for what I actually got myself into. And now, I leave for Quanitco in exactly 5 weeks and I have so much to do and so much to learn between now and then! Lately the to-do list, fears, and goals have become a significant source of anxiety for me, some days more than others.

My biggest fear is this: failing out. Only 20-3% of women finish OCS. That amount is staggering and intimidating. If so may of them who are more prepared, stronger, whatever, whatever can’t do it, what makes me so sure that I can? Sure, I was a strong leader at CU, but that’s a small pond compared to those I’ll be with at OCS.  There are a lot of people who’ve invested in, encouraged, and supported me through this process. These are all people I have incredible amounts of respect for, and I fear that if I fail, I’ll disappoint them.

Here’s the thing about fear: If I allow it to, fear can consume me. It can literally make me sick to my stomach.

Intrepid

Over Spring Break, I hung out with my Uncle Matt (among other people), who is always giving advice. He gave me a pretty good idea: choose a word that describes you and whenever you’re feeling anxious or inadequate, remind yourself that you are ___________. It took me a couple of days, but I finally chose the word “intrepid.” I wanted an extraordinary word that was applicable in more than just one way–it reflects my personality, who I choose to be, and who I am in Christ.

I am intrepid because YOLO. I am daring and independent. I don’t think twice before acting (not always a good thing). I refuse to be held back. I get an idea, think it through (sometimes), and make a decision. People were always impressed with me for driving 6 or 8 hours by myself, but I never thought twice about it. I left home really young and didn’t look back; I moved to a city by myself  and established myself as a functioning adult–alone. Sure, I’ve had my doubts but those were never going to stop me. Why should they now?

I choose to be intrepid, because I am not going to let risks and statistics intimidate me. If only 20% finish, then hell, I’m gonna be in that 20%. As selfish and arrogant as it sounds, I choose not to let my insecurities become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I couldn’t make it through, I wouldn’t have been selected. Everyone can make it. Not everyone chooses to. Fear is a designed to be a good thing, to keep us protected & safe. It’s also motivating and encouraging. My newest motto is: KICK FEAR IN THE ASS.

I am intrepid because I have the Lord on my side. He’s gone before, He’s with me now, and He’s coming behind me. It’s incredibly calming and peaceful to remember that my future has already been decided. What happens at OCS is going to glorify Christ regardless of what I do or don’t do. It really isn’t about or up to me–it’s all Him. I am going into this full hope and knowledge that since Christ has blessed this pursuit  thus far, He will continue to.

I am intrepid. What are you?

Earnednevergiven2

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3 thoughts on “Intrepid

  1. Love your attitude girl! Something I’ve been thinking on for the last month or so is that if something scares you, it just might be an indication that it’s worth doing!

  2. Stephi Fisher (and Ron) says:

    Melody, here’s another thought about fear: “Fear knocked, faith answered, and on one was home.” Corrie Ten Boom

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